I'm Addicted to Sugar but With a Cleanse Diet, I Shall Overcome

Hello, my name is Katie and I'm a sugaraholic.  This is pretty off topic for my what my blog is usually about, but I'm feeling so hungry by this point that it's all I can think about right now!  My basic problem is that I have to have a dessert every single day.   Every night I tell myself that I won't have any dessert tomorrow...no cookies, no cupcakes, no CHOCOLATE!!

Then I wake up, and I convince myself that it's not a problem if I want a dessert here or there.  I'm good at eating in moderation so I don't really gain a lot of weight, but my eating habits are terrible.  Yes, I'm lucky that I can eat cookies every day and still not be obese, but the truth is that my Mom had a heart attack at age 55 so I clearly have some genetics that I'm fighting.  Good metabolism?  Check.  Heart disease in family?  Also check.

Not only that, but I'm always feeling bloated and yucky.  Probably TMI but I want you to have all the facts.  So now that I'm in a vicious cycle, I've decided I need to do something drastic.  I have elected to do a "cleanse" diet.  I have heard of one where you only drink cayenne pepper and water for three days.  I've heard of ones where you only drink lemon water.  At first, I couldn't believe I was even considering this.  I remember mocking Gwyneth Paltrow so badly when I read that she had done this.  What a weirdo!!

But the problem is that all my good intentions aren't working, so I need to get totally out of my comfort zone.  After much research, I have selected the Dr. Oz 48 hour weekend cleanse.   It's only for 2 days and I figure...I can do anything for 2 days, right?  Basically he says you shouldn't starve yourself, but should only eat things that naturally get rid of toxins, such as fennel bulbs, cabbage, quinoa, and flaxseed.  If you are anything like me, your first question was, what the heck is a fennel bulb???

They give you very specific recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, along with an extensive shopping list.  I took Munchkin Girl with me to Whole Foods.  I felt as out of place there as Shrek would have felt if someone elected him to be the cook in The Little Mermaid.  We wandered around the store looking for flaxseed and pomegrante juice.  This might be normal for some of you, but not for me.  Let me put it to you this way.  When I pulled the radishes off the shelf, my hands were covered in mud.  This is very confusing for me.  What are you supposed to do at the store when your hands are covered in mud?  There is no sink.  I didn't bring any paper towels??

Moving on.  We gathered up all my ingredients and we giggled through most of it.  Then it came time to go home and prepare everything and again, I just very confused.  After literally two minutes of washing the radishes, I was still getting mud on my hands. Seriously?  I'm a grown woman, not a 2 year old boy.  I don't really like eating mud.
 

Then I got to the fennel bulb.  Here were the instructions: 1 fennel bulb, fronds and stalks included, roughly chopped

What the heck is a frond?  And which part is the stalk? 
 

I did my best and everything simmered for an hour and didn't actually smell that bad.  Then I opened up the pot.  The instructions were to serve this soup with a side of apples and sauerkraut.  Yikes.


I am proud to say that I forced this meal down after a full day of similar weirdness.  I lost one full pound the first day, which wasn't exactly the point but is always a bonus.

Do I consider this experiment a success?

Absolutely.  I really do love being stretched outside my comfort zone, even if I have to eat fennels and muddy radishes.  Plus, just about anything sounds good now.  Even a regular salad sounds like heaven.  Whether I'll be able to kick my cookie habit is still to be determined, but one thing is for sure.  Munchkin Girl is glad I'm done with this craziness.  This morning she came downstairs and I had already made myself my quinoa with prunes and rice milk.

She looked all sleepy and said, "Mommy, what smells so bad?"

Amen, sister.



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