Congrats on publishing your book!! Soooo exciting! I will be recommending it to my families :)

Thanks for posting this. Just yesterday, I was screaming at my 2 yr old son (it seems like the only way he listens to me lately-that he got me to crack and mommy's yelling so she must mean business now...), and I stopped myself thinking, OMG. I sound just like my father. This is NOT right (Not fun childhood times). I really appreciate your examples of alternatives-I've never belittled my son "with what is wrong with you?, Why are you so stupid?" but I've definately done the "Can't you stop being annoying? Mommy needs a break, and you need a nap." Hopefully, I haven't scarred him too badly, but I'm definatly re-evaluating how I talk to him now. Thanks again for the post.

Great post (and I say that because you actually offer some good advice to us frazzled moms)! Also--I'm about halfway through your book, and it's a true gem in my quest to figure out how to yell less and enjoy my boys more. I'm glad I found your blog.

What a great post!! Congrats on the book as well. Thank you for sharing such interesting info.

Just stumbled on your site through pinterest. Immediately purchased your book on Kindle. My impulse is to be a yeller (though I don't typically use belittling words), but I'm working to overcome that. I'm sure your book will help in my quest for more engaging and stimulating activities.

I actually pin this the other day , thank you so much, sometimes we as parents have to step back and see the whole citrus and remember we used to be children too. I have a 9 yr old ADHD child and it s sooooooo hard at times , but it does help thank you. marjorie

I actually pin this the other day , thank you so much, sometimes we as parents have to step back and see the whole citrus and remember we used to be children too. I have a 9 yr old ADHD child and it s sooooooo hard at times , but it does help thank you. marjorie

I love my child to death but their are some days were I have been in situation one because the whining drives me insane I would rather have my child scream then whine. I think sometimes parents crack we are only human. Thanks for awesome post

Hi, I happen to stumble upon your blog via 733 blog design recently finished work. I love your blog by the way. I'm definitely going to be a new reader. I'm having the same trouble trying to deal with my older son and also my second son. The constant fighting, whining, crying. And because I was emotionally abuse by being called "Fat as a child." The only thing that I know how to do is yell or hit. I've watched myself and try to do the things above since becoming a preschool teacher in 2009. But it's hard, but doable! Congrats on your book :)

Hi, I happen to stumble upon your blog via 733 blog design recently finished work. I love your blog by the way. I'm definitely going to be a new reader. I'm having the same trouble trying to deal with my older son and also my second son. The constant fighting, whining, crying. And because I was emotionally abuse by being called "Fat as a child." The only thing that I know how to do is yell or hit. I've watched myself and try to do the things above since becoming a preschool teacher in 2009. But it's hard, but doable! Congrats on your book :)

so what are your credentials exactly???

Great article! I completely understand this. My mom was a yeller and once she started, it went on forever. I remember saying to her on many occasions that I wished she'd just hit me and get it over with. I'm always careful about what I say to my kids & I very rarely ever yell at them out of anger although I have done that and then I've felt horrible afterwards. I put their behaviors down, but never them (ex: I don't speak whine, can you ask again with words I understand?).

Awesome blog post! There are so many tricks of the trade when it comes to interacting with children, and I LOVE learning them. Time I've wasted by yelling and belittling makes me cringe. It is simple to follow research approved ideas, like diverting a childs' thoughts to get thru a headstrong hurdle, showing respect while disciplining, etc. They just need to be learned! I am grateful for these kinds of helpful reads. :) Thanks.

Hi there, I followed a pin on Pinterest to your blog, and you have some great parenting ideas! I wanted to comment, however, that I find the graphic "Is Yelling Worse than Hitting?" to be a bit problematic. I read the study that you linked to, and while it says that psychological abuse is "the most challenging and prevalent form of child abuse and neglect," nowhere did I read a qualitative remark that verbal abuse is "worse" or more damaging than physical abuse. In fact, the authors note that exposing children to physical violence, even if they are not themselves physically harmed, is extremely damaging psychologically. (See "Determinants of Psychological Maltreatment" http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/130/2/372.full)

I've worked with abused children and was abused as a child myself. I think it's important to highlight the fact that ALL forms of abuse--sexual, verbal, physical, emotional--are damaging and hurtful, and none are better or worse than the other. When I read your post, I knew this was not what you meant, but I just wanted to put out there that abuse is abuse, even if it takes different forms. Thanks for reading, I do enjoy what I have read of your blog so far!

Thank you for this. Reading this just kind of refreshes the mind on how to try and stay calm when the kids push your buttons. Any advise on Pre-teen attitudes????
Michelle

This is a total eye opener for me. I didn't think that I was belittling my boys by saying "What's wrong with you?" or "You are being annoying, right now." I need to think about how I react and fix it. I love my kids fully and want them to grow up happy and confident.


Thanks!
Trina

Honestly... Wish this came out when my mom was raising me and my sisters. My mother's responses to our misbehavior sounded exactly (word for word!) like the "What I want to say" portions of this article... Come to think of it, her responses /still/ sound like that. It's very draining and as a result my sisters and I have much shorter tempers and lower tolerance for BS than most other people our age do.

Yelling as a form of punishment has honestly damaged my relationship with my mother... Mostly because she yelled/yells all the time. Any mothers out there reading this comment: please don't yell at your kids, no matter what stupid crap they pull. Yelling makes it seem like it's ok for your kids to yell back and then you'll just pull yourself into a world of crazy.

If/when I have kids, I will make a note to refer back to this. I don't want to parent my kids with yelling because my absolute worst nightmare is to catch myself acting like my mom to my children.

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Love your post! I just purchased your book! :)

All awesome ideas. Do you happen to have any ideas on how to get your kids to stop whining and screaming long enough to hear you actually say those things? I feel like I am in a never ending screaming match with my kids because I have to scream to be heard over THEIR screaming *sigh* I would love to be more patient and passive, but I am never given the chance. Sometimes I think I need a megaphone so I can keep my cool and still be heard. I try waiting for them to calm down so I can talk calmly and explain what needs to change/happen, but they never let me get a word in, they don't hear me until I get loud. It's exhausting :(

It's hard to keep cool when frustrated its a good reminder how powerful we are as parents!!

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