Monday, October 29, 2012

My iPhone Addiction: Will My Kids Resent it One Day?

The other day the kids were playing happily for once and Hubby had just gotten home from work.  I was also still getting emails about work and we were both scrolling through our phones while the kids played in the other room.  My daughter came running in to show me the clothes that she had successfully put on her doll and I barely looked up and murmured, "Very cool, honey." 
 
"Mom, you didn't even look at it!" she replied.
 
I suddenly saw ourselves from the outside.  Don't you think it's so annoying when you go to lunch with someone and they are only half-listening to you and scrolling through their phone at the same time?  I make it a point to never do that to any adults, so why did I think it was okay to do to my kids?
 
I remembered that old song, Cats in the Cradle by Cat Stevens.  Do you remember it?  It's basically about a kid who keeps begging his Dad to play ball with him.  The Dad keeps responding that he just doesn't have the time.  Then one day the Son grows up and the roles are reversed.  The Dad keeps begging the kid to come over and visit and kid suddenly doesn't have the time and I suddenly felt a pit in the bottom of my stomach.  Did I want my kids to remember me only half-listening to them? Of course not!  
 
I suddenly had visions of them growing up, and being teen-agers and young adults with new jobs, scrolling through their phones while I tried to find out what was going on in their young lives.  I pictured myself asking them questions and trying to lure them into a meaningful conversation, while they only half-listened and repaid me for all the years that I'd done it to them.  Well no more!  I vow no more half-listening and half-parenting.  I'm going to print out the words to Cats in the Cradle and read them every morning, to remind myself how hurtful it is when someone just doesn't have time for you, especially when that person is your own Mom.
 
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Thursday, October 25, 2012

How I Found Time to Read my Novel While the Kids Did Self-Portraits

The other day I was dying to read my book.  I hardly ever get to read while the kids are awake, but I was reading Gone Girl: A Novel, and I couldn't put it down.  So, when my daughter asked if she could do a "project" I knew I wanted to come up with something that would keep her busy for awhile so I could sneak in a few pages (Does that make me a bad Mom?  Too bad!  Haha)

So, I got out the long butcher paper (Spectra ArtKraft Duo-Finish 67004 Spectra Artkraft Duo-Finish Heavyweight Paper, 48" x 200-ft. roll, White) and I taped two long pieces to our kitchen floor.  I told the kids to lay down, and I traced them.


Then we started adding stuff.  I helped her draw a dress for her self-portrait.  Then she started adding the flowers to the dress and I have to say, that the more we drew, the more things she came up with to add.  By the end, her imagination really took over.  On her self-portrait, she drew:
  • A face
  • Hair
  • A dress with flowers
  • A necklace
  • A purse
  • She traced herself holding her favorite doll
  • A "friendly ghost"
  • The sun
  • Shoes and socks
  • The carpet she was standing on
  • A grasshopper on her head (long story.  We had pet grasshoppers this summer)
craft project for kids

Even Little Buddy had fun on his, although I did most of the work while he coached me.  
The good news is that, after the project was over, they scampered off and played by themselves for thirty minutes, and then I finally got to read my book in peace!  It really is amazing how willing they are to play alone after we do a project.  They finally get the "Mommy" time they crave and they feel fulfilled, leaving me time for dishes, laundry, and more importantly, novels!  For more ideas on how to get more free time by providing your kids with challenging projects, check out my new book!  I teamed up with Susan Case, a former Kindergarten Teacher, and we provide you with hundreds of ways to keep your kids busy, but in productive ways, so that they are learning while you get your precious free time!




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Monday, October 22, 2012

The Key to Surviving a Road-Trip with Little Kids: Busy Bags and TV


Twenty four hours in the car with two little kids is a long time.  Believe me, we did it last summer.  Okay, we didn't do 24 hours straight.  Each way was 12 hours, but 12 hours can seem like a lot when you have a four year old asking every two minutes, "Are we getting closer?"  I always thought that was a joke that parents told to be funny, but it really does happen.  I haven't gotten around to blogging about the logistics of our road trip until now, but with the holiday season coming up, I figure people are going to be making some road trips, so I thought I would share my experiences.

I will say that the trip went remarkably well and was truly better than I would have thought possible.  Before we left, I spent hours getting our "busy bags" prepared.  This took a lot of time and effort because I had to really think through everything.  For example, I originally considered bringing beads so the kids could string necklaces, but then I realized that the kids would likely drop a few beads and then I would have my backside in the air the entire way, searching for missing beads.  In in the end, this is what I packed.  Each kid had their own backpack filled with several "new" items.  I tried to pull out something new about every hour or two, as soon as everyone got restless.   They were pretty simple stuff, like new coloring books from the Dollar Store, but just something they hadn't seen before made the trip much better for them.  For some other strategies, you can check out this article I wrote for Circle of Moms on Tips for Road-Trip Rookies.

So, here are the contents of our Busy Bags:
We had plenty of new new coloring books.  I also packed a Zip-Lock bag for each kid with brand-new crayons.

Next I used note-cards and stickers to make a home-made matching game.  I sat next to them and turned the cards over and they picked up a card and then had to try to find the matching card. 


This next one was inspired by the "Friendship bracelets" I made a kid. Did you ever make friendship bracelets when you were growing up?  Munchkin Girl isn't quite old enough for the real kind, and I had all this extra yarn left-over from our Strawberry Shortcake craft, so I but up dozens of yarn in the same length and tied them together at one end.  I brought a safety pin, just like I did with friendship bracelets and I affixed them to the traveling tray.  (On a side note, I don't really think these traveling trays were worth the money.  They were flimsy and I think I could have done this same thing with a pillow in my daughter's lap)

The next item was a favorite of the trip: a clip-board.  I printed out dozens of different coloring pages, all in their favorite characters.  I put them all in this sturdy folder, along with lots of colored construction paper.  We used the construction paper for lots of different stickers, which are great for keeping them busy.   Not only did they use their clip-boards for coloring pages and sticker games, it seemed to come in handy for lots of things.  We used them for the coloring books too.


I also wrapped up several new toys and pulled them out when things got really bad.  A few of our favorites were the Hide N Squeak Eggs found on Amazon and the Crocodile Dentist Game,,.  I also found a few good toys at the Dollar Store and in the toy section at Wal-Mart.

Lastly, we couldn't have made the trip without our DVDs!  I'm not a fan of being a hero on a road-trip.  If the kids are game for watching a little bit of TV, I say let them!



Thank you so much to everyone who has bought my book!  If you haven't seen it yet, I would love it if you checked it out!  If you have ever asked yourself questions like, these, then this is the book for you!

Why do my kids drive me so crazy sometimes?
Why do they just want to watch TV all day long?
How am I ever supposed to get anything done when my kids won't stop pestering me?

In this book, I teamed up with former Kindergarten teacher, Susan Case, and we worked together to give a Mom's point of view and a teacher's point of view, so that we could give you activities that not only keep the kids busy, but also keep them motivated to learn and develop their natural curiosity. Here is what one of the reviews says on Amazon:

"This book seriously saved my sanity. I've read a bunch of parenting books but this is literally the only one that actually gave me real and specific advice and ideas for things to do with my daughter. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year old and I was at my wits end trying to come up with ideas of fun, easy, creative things to do with her that will keep her busy and occupied and help her learn. I wasn't very good at following through on ideas that I heard about from friends or read in other books or online because they seemed too complicated (aka: messy!) but this book broke it down and made it so simple. I highly recommend it!"




 
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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Memory Game for Preschoolers

Sometimes my daughter's memory really amazes me.  She'll say, "Mommy, can I have a cookie?  Remember that one time, when I was two, when we drove by this one store and you let me get a cookie?  Since we're going by that store again, can I have a cookie again?"

So, I decided to put her memory really to the test.  We gathered up about seven toys and I put them on the table.  Then I told her to close her eyes and I took away one toy.  She opened her eyes and was supposed to tell me what was missing.  She was really good at it.  She would yell right away, "The Pony!"  I finally had to get some things that were more similar to make it harder.  Even Little Buddy (2.5 years) enjoyed this game too, although he wasn't quite as good at it!
 


 
 
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Monday, October 15, 2012

There is Hope Yet: It's All a Process

Last weekend I made an important discovery:   My older brother was in town and we sat around one night, telling stories about when we were little.  Surprisingly, the boys were telling me things I never knew about them.  About fights they'd gotten into and other bad things they'd done and it suddenly hit me: my brothers and I weren't perfect when we were growing up.  In fact, we were sometimes real jerks. This is surprising for me because in my humble opinion we all turned out pretty great so I have totally blocked all bad behavior out of my mind.  Today we are a family that laughs together, wants the best for each other and adores spending time with each other.  But the truth is, it wasn't always this way.  Here is a picture of my brothers joking around and making fun of my pregnant stomach (about five years ago). 

But we weren't always this fun.  I think this is significant because sometimes as a Mom, I cannot understand why my kids just won't listen to me.  I am constantly baffled with the way they pester each other and then cry about the fact that the other one has decided to pester back.  I think sometimes I expect them to be perfect little angels and honestly they often are.  After all, I do all the right things.  I am consistent with my discipline, I make them eat healthy food, and I try to have as much fun with them as possible.  Yet there are days on the weekends when my husband and I look at each other at the end of the day and wonder what went wrong?  Why did we have such a rough day?  Why were the kids at each other's throats and why did they do everything they could to annoy us?

The answer is that this whole thing is a process and my brothers made me realize that.  If my Mom had written a blog or a journal back when we were growing up, she would have had amazing stories.  She would have told about how my little brother loved toy guns almost a little too much.  About how he once shoved another Mom and yelled, "Get away you dork!  That's my Mom and I need to talk to her!!"  And my older brother is now the sweetest, most mild-mannered soul, yet at one point in high school his debate teacher honestly thought he needed anger management counseling (due to a long list of bizarre behavior, which I won't get into right now).  And how my Mom once told my Dad about me, "Take her somewhere.  I can't take take any more whining.  I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT!!!"

These new memories about how we kids weren't perfect at all has really lowered the bar for my own expectations and it's quite a relief to know that one bad day or even one bad week full of whining and fighting doesn't mean that I am failing and my kids are hopeless.  In fact, every time I have to discipline and teach them a lesson, I am re-enforcing everything so that one day, hopefully, in the very distant future, they will understand. I am looking forward to telling them some of these stories.  I hope they laugh and say they're sorry, they way my brothers and I have done to my parents.  My fingers are crossed!

I also want to say thank you so much to all of you out there!  I love writing my blog and I love having so many visitors!  I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the support on my book too!  I have been so honored by all the wonderful comments we have gotten!  One of my favorites was from Dawn@Prickly Mom:

Love your book! Seriously, I rate it up there with my heroes Elizabeth Pantley and John Rosemond in terms of day-to-day usefulness. Bravo!

You can download the first chapter for free on Kindle to make sure you like it! 


 
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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Melting Crayons: A Great Indor Game for Toddlers and Preschoolers

To be honest, we didn't spend very much time doing crafts or working on letters this Fall or Summer.  It's hard when Little Buddy wakes up and says, "Can we ride scooters now?" and he is still in his bed with his jammies on.  But, it's finally starting to get cold and rainy occasionally, so I have put my creative brain back on and tried to come up with some fun/educational things to do inside.  So last weekends, we decided to try melting crayons.  First, Munchkin Girl spent about thirty minutes peeling the crayons.  This was excellent for her fine motor skills:


Next, I got out the big easel and taped four crayons to a piece of construction paper and gave the kids blow dryers.  I wasn't quite sure how long it would take before something happened, but I put the blow dryer on high heat and within about a minute, we began to see an amazing thing happen:


Even Little Buddy had a great time doing it, although he didn't have the attention span to actually turn it into anything.


I did learn a few things about this.  When we did it the second time, I put two pieces of tape because the crayons tended to fall when they got too hot.  Also, we put a large plastic bag underneath the easel to catch the fallen crayons and wax.  Munchkin Girl was very proud of her finished product and I predict we will definitely be doing this one again!
 


For more fun ideas on things to do with your kids, please check out my new book!  This summer The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn was released.  If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you!  We give you hundreds of ideas on keeping your kids busy but also helping them learn.  What makes this book unique is that we give you a Mom's point of view and a teacher's point of view, so that you can do activities that not only keep the kids busy, but also keep them motivated to learn and develop their natural curiosity.  Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom!


 
 

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Monday, October 8, 2012

Our Own Fall Tradition: Bonfire and Ice Cream

I do love the Fall.  I swear.  But there is something about it that always bring lots of pressure for me.  I think it's the fact that I can't resist scrolling Facebook and I see so many smiling families picking apples, on hayrides, and doing all kinds of "Fall Activities".  For some reason I just can't get into Apple Picking.  It's such a long drive out there, it's hard to find the right apples, and then they don't taste that great anyway.  But mostly it's because Hubby often has to work on the weekends so it's hard to plan a several hour trip in advance.  Yet I feel like I'm doing my kids such a disservice by not going apple picking.  Will they feel deprived for their entire lives if I don't give them the pleasure of Apple Picking???  

So, last Friday night I had this grand idea that we would go for a family bike ride when Hubby got home from work since it was such a beautiful Fall day.  I even thought we could bring a picnic!  Then life happened.  He got off work late, got stuck in traffic, and was tired after a long day.  So we improvised.  Instead, we ordered pizza and had a bonfire on our back patio.  The kids were beyond thrilled.  Then I decided to treat them to something yummy.  Yes, it would have been ideal if I'd planned ahead and had stuff for S'Mores.  But I had to work all day and I didn't plan ahead so they had to settle for a bowl of plain vanilla ice cream.  They absolutely thought this was the most fun they'd had in weeks.  Poor kids.  I guess they don't get out much.  

So now we have our own new Fall tradition: "Bonfire and ice cream".  I'm sure they won't feel deprived at all.  Right?

 
 
I hope you will also consider buying my newly-released book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble and Motivated to Learn.  The reviews have been very positive and you can even download the first chapter on your Kindle for free! Please visit Amazon to read all the reviews and find out more.  Thanks so much to everyone who has already bought the book.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!   


 

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Thursday, October 4, 2012

Montessori Work Stations to Keep the Kids Busy at Home

At my daughter's new preschool, they have started doing "work stations", which is a modified Montessori practice of allowing the kids to select their own project and work on it by themselves.  They must put it away before moving on to the next project.  My daughter has really enjoyed this so far, so one rainy afternoon I decided to invent my own "work stations", using stuff we already have.  I set up everything at the table while they were having quiet time and they were ready when they came downstairs.  Here is what we had:

1.  Sand (Great sensory activity)
2.  Playdough (Good for strength and sensory)
3.  Sensory box (Sensory skills)
4.  Buttons/Muffin tin (Math skills via sorting colors)



I let them each choose their activity and they got to spend as much time as they wanted on each one before moving on to the next one.  These are all things we do often, but it definitely mixed things up a bit to set them all out at once and let them choose which one they wanted to do.  It didn't take very long to get everything set up because I have it all organized already in our craft closet.  Also, it was really nice because this kept everyone busy for at least an hour and I was able to get things done while they worked.  When they were finished, they also scampered off to play by themselves for awhile so it was a very successful afternoon!


This is Little Buddy playing with the sand.  As you can see, I put letters in there and he is making a bit of a mess, but I put some plastic under there and it was really easy to clean up.

This is our sensory box, which we used a few days later for a bean ramp.





You can find out why it's so important for kids to have ample time for sensory skills and strength in my new book!  We give you hundreds of ideas on how to keep kids buys, but in a productive way so they are actually getting some benefit out of the way they spend their day.  To give you an idea of what you might expect to get out of this book, here is what one reader put on Pinterest

A MUST read. I've read this book and it has so many great and simple ideas on how to stimulate your children's minds so they will want to play on there own and you will be able to do things around the house or just relax without turning on the TV for the kids.
Feel free to download the first chapter on your Kindle so that you can get a feel for whether you want to spend your money on this! 
   
 
 
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Monday, October 1, 2012

A Whole New Perspective on Siblings


Let me tell you the story of two very different little girls.  The first little girl is whiny.  She often takes toys from her brother and makes him cry.  She pushes him down when no one is looking.  This little girl isn't a monster, but is often looking for trouble.  For example, if she realizes it irritates her brother to call him a coconut head, she will do it again repeatedly and giggle with evil laughter.

The other little girl is an angel.  She never whines.  She never takes away toys.  She asks sweetly for people to play with her.   She waits patiently and plays by herself by reading a book or playing with her dolls.  This little girl goes with the flow.  If she doesn't get a nap, she doesn't get whiny.  She might be a little tired and not as perky as usual, but she doesn’t whine or complain.  This little girl is fun.  She laughs a lot and the people around her are constantly smiling at each other with her adorable antics. 

Now I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking the first little girl must have terrible parents, right?  Wrong.  These two little girls are both my daughter, but under very different circumstances.  You see, I recently took a trip to Charleston to visit my brother but Little Buddy stayed home and this gave me the unique chance to interact with my daughter by herself.  I was astonished at the change in her.  She never whined.  She never cried.  She never had fits of any kind.  My family and brothers were enamored by this little angel and it was truly one of the most special trips of my life.  



I've thought a lot about why this trip was so different and I have it narrowed down to 2 reasons:

1.  There was no competition for her.  She was the only kid on the trip.
2.  We were on vacation so the normal hectic schedule didn’t apply.  We actually had time to watch her and play with her and we took her fun places and went out to dinner.

Unfortunately, this isn't real life.  She does have a brother and Mommy and Daddy have to work to pay the bills and actually, I think the daily grind of siblings and schedules is important because it teaches kids that they aren't the only people in the universe and it helps them prepare for real life.  This became very evident toward the end of the trip when she started demanding that people play with her constantly.  She was still polite and cute about it, but it was clear that if our daily life was always full of trips to the beach, ice cream no school and no work, my daughter would probably be a very spoiled little girl.

However, this special glimpse into a different little girl really helped me.  After we got back, my daughter was whining at the kitchen table about something.  My first reaction was to be irritated and demand that the she quit whining.  Then I thought back to our trip and it hit me.  Her true spirit was sweet and helpful and kind.  Life interfered and it was frustrating to have to learn life lessons like patience, and that is what makes her whine.  I know now that I just need to keep on doing what I'm doing so she can live up to her full potential of the girl I knew in Charleston: the girl with a lovely, sharing spirit who simply wants to please the people around her. 

Now when she acts whiny and demanding, I just think of her as Little Miss Jeckel and Little Miss Hyde.  They are the same person, but act very differently.  And I love them both. 


Thank you so much for reading this post!!  I hope you will also consider buying my newly-released book. The reviews have been very positive and you can even download the first chapter on your Kindle for free! Please visit Amazon to read all the reviews and find out more.  Thanks so much to everyone who has already bought the book.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!   


 
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