Monday, June 17, 2013

9 Things You REALLY Shouldn't Post on Facebook

Some days I love Facebook.  Other days I hate it and remove the App from my computer until I can't take it anymore and I admit defeat download it again.  In fairness, I mostly hate it because it makes me feel inadequate, like I'm not spending enough time at the zoo, at rock concerts, and at museums with my preschoolers.  Oh, and everyone is at a party without me that I wasn't invited to.  But I also hate it when people post about:
  1. Anything related to stomach flu/vomiting.  Especially don't post about diarrhea running down your kids' legs.  It's bad enough when it happens to my family without having to read about it on FB almost every day as it happens to other people.  It's making me into an agoraphobic who never wants to leave my house.  Plus it makes me want to avoid you for at least one month, for fear on contracting your gross diarrhea. 
  2. Weight loss pics.  I have honestly seen a thirty year old man pose in the mirror while taking a picture of his vastly improved but very hairy and disgusting stomach.  Are you my husband?  Then I probably don't want to see your stomach.  
  3. Naked baby pics.  There are so many issues with these...first, your kids will probably hate you later.  Second, privacy/weirdos goes without saying.  Lastly, it's never as cute as you think it is.
  4. Food pictures.  Are you a professional chef?  Great, then bring on the pics and thanks for the free advice.  Or, do you have a food blog with a super nice camera with free recipes?  Great!  Post on!  But if not, please don't post a pic of your home-made but gross looking wild rice casserole.  I made one for dinner too and it was equally gross-looking.
  5. A list of your daily accomplishments.  I really doubt anyone cares about all 15 of your boring daily tasks, especially dishes, vacuuming, etc.  I take that back.  Maybe your Mom would care so you should call her and she can tell you how proud she is.
  6. Vague, mean comments, directed to one person but no one know which one person.  An example: "If only I knew who my REAL friends were 15 years ago I would have saved myself a lot of time and heartache".  Now all 215 of your FB friends will be wondering if you're referring to them and what they could have possibly done to offend you.  This might be okay if you're fifteen years old and not very mature.  But even then, it's an iffy tactic. 
  7. Pretty much anything that requires a sad face afterward :-(.  It's not really the place for a pity party.  Again, call your Mom.  Especially if it makes people worried about you in a, "Do you think I should call her?  She sounds depressed," kind of way. 
  8. Bragging about your kid's ability to say the alphabet at age 2, walk at age 6 months, or anything "genius" related.  I mean, my kid is riding his bike without training wheels at age 3 but do you see me bragging about that on Facebook? (You're likely thinking,"No, but you're bragging about it on your blog!"  Point taken.  My bad, but seriously.  He's three.)
  9. Gross pics of your foot blisters (again, it's actually happened on my real FB page.) Spare us please those images can remain burned into an adult brain for days.
If you ever catch me doing any of these, please feel free to verbally abuse me and give me a thorough tongue lashing.  I can take it.  And for the record, I think politics is fair game.  This is America after all.  Cute kids pics and sarcasm are also welcome.

 

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10 comments:

  1. Ha ha - I've been staying off Facebook for the same reasons. But then tempted to take a peek at it again. I agree - leave the medical issues off - including weight loss. lol.

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  2. I've been lucky so far I guess, no gross blisters or such. Whew! Not much a facebooker though so maybe my time is coming.

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  3. I'm so glad I don't have facebook, ewww!

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  4. That post cracked me up. I can relate to several of those things. Some are TMI.

    : 0 ) Theresa (Capri + 3)

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    1. Thanks Teresa! Glad it made you smile!! :-)

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  5. These drive me crazy too! But I have to confess that I have been guilty of most of them at one time or another. Love your blog!!!

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  6. Those are hilarious!! #6 drives me bananas.

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  7. Hello! I had a question for you about possibly collaborating on something and was hoping you could email me back to discuss? Thanks so much!



    - Arianna

    ariannapierce2 (at) gmail (dot) com

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  8. LOL! Love this list! It should be mandatory reading when you sign up for Facebook!

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